027. An August introspection

Kingdom of Bahrain

August 11, 2010

August!

Heavy summer in the Gulf! 

Season of sweet, juicy watermelons!!

August comes as the transition month between the unpromising Karkidakam month (last month of the traditional Malayalam calendar) and a hopeful Chingam month (first month of the Malayalam calendar). 

Today is the start of Ramadan - the holy month.  I thought of writing a blog post, an experience, from the heart.  I feel, this is the right time to thank GOD for all the favours HE have been gifting.

Personally, I consider August - as a month for introspection. 
By introspection, I mean,  to learn through the committed mistakes and  assess the losses incurred so that they are never ever repeated.
By introspection, I dedicate some time to thank the Almighty for His blessings and favours received.
By introspection, I sincerely remember the friends and associates who helped me to boost up my morale and regain my confidence whenever I was at a low.

This blog post, an eye-opening true story is dedicated to the following human beings :-

1. Lord Guruvayoorappan - a form of Lord Krishna - my Guide
2. Bindu, my wife - who compromised her happiness, unconditionally,  for my sake during tough times.
3. Govind, alias Achu, my son.
4. My loving Daddy - who has been with me at all times.
5. Mr. Ajit Joseph Kolethe, who gave me a second life (on a career perspective!).  He understood me very well, from day one of our meeting.  Thank you, dear.
6. Mr. Abraham Santosh, my job consultant-cum-friend.
7. Management of Etisalcom Bahrain (my current employer) - Mr. Rashid Al-Snan, CEO & Mr. Nezar Jamsheer (former Chief Commercial Officer, Etisalcom)
8. Mr. Moosa, my house owner in Bahrain - who supported me a lot.
9. Mr. Ambujakshan, a family friend and a brother - who helped me, in spite of his helplessness.
10. Mr. Javed, a Pakistani taxi driver - unexpected help beyond boundaries!
11. Mr. Manoj Kumar, a friend who gave me moral support and confidence.  Knowing through him - good friends like Vinod Babu, Manoj Nair etc.

For ever, I shall be thankful to the all the above people for giving me another life, an existence, a survival, all bundled together !!

A friendly reminder to me and you - reiterating that our life is "remote controlled by a super power” and how temporary are the happiness and sorrow that we go through.

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2007.

It was quite unexpected.

It was very unexpected and shocking too!

And, something that shattered dreams, hopes, ambitions, plans, and what not!

The tussle between the Company Directors and some members of the Board proved my point that all  partnerships are not always successful.  Without leaving any clue, one of the Directors was asked to leave the office and the premises without any further talks.

There prevailed a chaos.  The fate of the employees were virtually hanging in balance. 

Fortunately, I could not witness those untoward and dreadful incidents while they happened,  as I was away from office on an unfortunate hiatus that was caused by illness.  My family was also with me in India during then, as it was academic vacation for Govind.  

Considering the uncertainty and chaos, I preferred to come back to Bahrain alone.   As soon as I knew about these unpleasant developments, I flew back to office.   Daddy was against me in my decision to come back and getting into the expected turbulence, but I had to come, for I had lot of things to settle before saying farewell to Bahrain, where I had been since 2003.

But, by then, circumstances were all changed beyond repair !

1. 
   
   There was absolute and fearful silence in the office.
2. 
   
   The PR fellow (who used to run around for getting visas/passport endorsement/other Ministry related works) was sitting at the Director's chair!
3. 
   
   The once, much-happening  Reception area was very quiet and almost left in an abandoned manner.
4. 
   
   The talkative, efficient Secretary was also missing in action.
5. 
   
   There were seriously-looking-faces all around.  Nobody were talking to each other.  Fear was clearly visible in all employees.
6. 
   
   The PR fellow asked me questions totally unrelated to my domain of work.  He even questioned my integrity and value addition to the organization!!
7. 
   
   There was a new Accountant in place - who had no concern about the ill-fated employees.
8. 
   
   The Administration Manager was forced to be silent!
9. 
   
   My medical bills (though promised a reimbursement by the Management prior) were cruelly directed to a waste bin.
10. 
    
    I was asked to return my company owned mobile SIM.
11. 
    
    I was asked to return the company car.
12. 
    
    I was asked to return the laptop, mercifully in a day's notice.
13. 
    
    There were no questions or answers whatsoever on my pending salary of four months - I was left in the lurch, as a pauper.
14. 
    
    With tear-welled eyes, I stepped out of my cabin, empty handed.
15. 
    
    I was dropped home by a colleague from the office, forever, forever and forever.

Within  split of a second, I thoroughly learnt the message of Jnanappana, (meaning pot of wisdom, a devotional poem written by Poonthaanam).    There is a stanza in Jnanappana that translates to - "In a matter of day or two You are He, who makes them ride on the royal chair.   On the shoulder of the king who climbs to the top of palace.  You are He, who places the tattered heap.".   (The poet brings out how our life is “God controlled” and how temporary are the happiness and sorrow that we go through.)

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On August 1st  morning,  I woke up as a simple person  with the following 'characteristics' :

• 
  
  Unemployed
• 
  
  Uncertain of future
• 
  
  Having not enough money for survival
• 
  
  Lonely - terribly missing the family
• 
  
  Frustrated, surrounded by just four walls of the apartment.

Having no PC at home, I had to take a membership in a nearby Internet Cafe for preparing and sending out my profile and CV,  as a jobseeker.  I eagerly accessed my emails twice a day with unrealistic  hopes of receiving favourable responses from the prospect employers, but in vain.

For me, the future was bleak as I failed to get any response to my CVs that were sent out. 

For the first time ever, I saw my purse draining out at a tremendous pace.   I had to really cut down my expenses, as my income avenues were almost getting choked up.  Mood and money stopped me from cooking or having my food on time.  

Moreover, each and every minute was becoming expensive, crucial and critical for me, as I had to take an apt decision very quickly - as to whether go back to India for good;  or to take up any available job in Bahrain that comes to me in order to ensure continuity of Govind's studies.   

Bitten by the instability bug, my worries were many, but not limited to :

• 
  
  Getting in to any available job, just for the sake of survival might cost me a fortune with reference to my career. 
• 
  
  Leaving back to India might risk Govind's education and he might lose a year of education - due to academic year disparities between the schools in India and his school in Bahrain.
• 
  
  As regards any progress on my interview or job,  most of the decision makers were on vacation and hence away from Bahrain.
• 
  
  Even if I decide to go back,  it would not be easy as there were lot of financial commitments to be settled - pending house rent, expenses on packing & moving, selling off some household items - most of them having some sentimental value or the other, probability of getting a job easily back home etc. etc.
• 
  
  Knowing the situation I was in, there was a high possibility of prospect employers compromising and negotiating my salary and other eligible perks to their benefit - just because as I was  in dire need of one.

It was scorching summer.   Due to lack of transportation and enough money in the wallet to hire a taxi, I had to walk down under the heat for attending interviews.  Looking back, I feel that I must have lost those interviews, perhaps due to the fact that I was attending them completely drenched in sweat!!

Tension was building up here and also back home in proportion to the uncertainty,  as the days passed by.   Bindu and my Daddy kept on calling me and speaking to me to keep me in good mood.  They were a real source of energy during those downtrodden days of mine!

I called up my friend, Abraham Santosh, a job consultant who placed me in Bahrain around five years back.  Candidly, I told him about my plight, but unfortunately, what I got back was just a negative response, due to the timing of my requirement.  He told me that most of the employers or decision makers of the companies were away on summer vacation.  Just before disconnecting the call, he promised to look out for a suitable placement for me very soon, on a war footing basis.

During those days, Ambujakshan (Ambu chettan), my family friend and  another "casualty" of this catastrophe, was the only solace for me.  For, we shared the same problem as we were colleagues.    As a bad-time-deed, he also left a stable job to join this ill-fated organization from where we both were 'ejected' to nowhere!   As his family was in India permanently and he was living as a forced-bachelor, he decided to leave Bahrain for good.  Even in his helplessness, he had the magnanimity to lend me some money for my survival.  

 I felt very sad when he left Bahrain for good in a couple of days.

Thank you, Ambu Chettan for all the help!!







In house, I had none to talk to, as many of my friends were out of Bahrain on summer vacation. I had no shoulders to lay on ! Within a day or two, my Lord became my best friend with whom I shared my sorrow and discussed my future.

A friend of mine, Manoj who was staying near my house, forcefully took me to his house when he found that my mindset was very fragile.  He gave me food and company.  He talked to me very often and tried to divert my ill thoughts.  Thank You, Manoj.

Sitting alone at home, every hour was like a day for me.  I kept on calling up Santosh hoping a positive response, but there was no change in his reply.  And, he continued giving me moral support.  Gradually,  I started to lose whatever little hope I had.

That night, I started to converse with the Lord one-to-one!  My conversation with HIM started with questions, mostly self related.

I believe completely, that Lord Krishna, my Lord, heard my cries.   Next morning I woke up to a phone call from Abraham Santosh.  To be honest, I was not at all sleeping, so am not sure whether I can say that  I woke up to that call.

"Renjith, you are lucky, man!  There is a PM opportunity for you.  I have forwarded your CV to an autonomous organization and please meet them up tomorrow morning at 10.  You attend the interview and see.  If this dont work, I have a remote possibility with another telecom company"

I hastily completed the call but not before  collecting the address and contact points of the prospect employer, aka interviewer, perhaps my God in incarnation!

My happiness had no bounds.  I saw some light at the end of the tunnel.   At that moment, I had the psyche of a student on the eve of his  Board Examination.  I became very nervous when  it dawned on me that I was in a do-or-die situation.   Moreover, I was attending an interview after a long gap and hence, I prepared myself by rehearsing  the interview standing in front of the mirror.  I do not know, I had some kind of a  fear from within and also  had a feeling as if I was attending my first ever job interview in my life.

After my prayers the next day morning, I got myself ready for the interview.  Unknowingly I searched for my car keys at the usual place where I used to keep them,  but sadly, in a reflex,  I realised that I was not having any car to commute.

Access to public transportation from my place of stay had been slightly difficult.  I had no other option but to call Javed, a Pakistani taxi driver who used to come for help when in need.  I was comfortable because there was no need to pay him immediately.  By God's grace, he attended my call and came within half an hour as he was somewhere near my apartment.   Like a messenger sent by God, Javed dropped me at the interview venue and back.  The interview was not very promising, but I was confident.   I was asked to wait for two days for the outcome as I was told that they had a few more candidates to be interviewed. 

My anxiety and impatience did not allow me to wait for two days.  I called up Santosh the next evening.  He neither answered my call at the first attempt, nor he returned the call,  which was not his style!  After repeated attempts, he answered my call. 

But, the reply was devastating!!

"Sorry, dear.  Seems the response from the interview is negative.  Not to worry, we will have something or the other".

I was thunder-struck.  I must not have heard any of his conversation properly.   In a couple of seconds or so, I got back to my senses and asked him about the status of the other interview - that of a telecom company.  Unlike the previous interview which I attended, I was confident because I was into telecom industry for a good number of years.

"Telecom... well, I have asked them..... but, they did not give any confirmation yet.  Moreover, I do not think that they would go for a recruitment soon....."

I was silent at the receiving end.  Sure, I was crying too.  It was complete darkness.

"Dont feel dejected.  I am on the look out for a suitable opportunity for you... I will speak to the telecom again.  Ajit is a friend of mine.. Dont worry, Renjith... Good night!"

That was not a good night for me.  I could not sleep.  My financial dues due to irregular salary history, Govind's education, my dreary future, time pressure, loneliness etc. etc. haunted me throughout the night.  I got up from the bed whenever I tried to close my eyes.  I was walking impatiently within my apartment for hours, for I had no clue of my way forward.

With a mixed feeling of anger, frustration, melancholy and misery, I bent before my Lord and cried.  I asked him - "Krishna, my Guruvayoorappa, why are you experimenting with me?    With hope, I  sent my CV to many places, but there is no response from anywhere.  What will I do?  I could withstand a life without salary, but how can I survive or have a life without a job?   Will I get a job if I go back to India?  What will I do with my son's education?  Will he suffer due to my own reasons?  Will he lose any classes? If at all he goes back, would he get school admission now?  How much would be the donation in the school?  How will I pay the dues here?  What shall I do?  Wont You show me some light?"

I felt that HE was smiling at me.

Yes, HE was just smiling at me.

Yes, he was smiling at me, or rather teasing me!  Within 12 hours, the next day before noon, I got another call from Santosh bringing my happiness back!

"Renjith, how are you?  God is Great!  What magic did you do?  Ajit called me now and told me to process my CV for them.   Can you meet him today?!!  Please meet Ajit Joseph at Etisalcom"

Yes, that was another miracle.  Another magic by Lord Krishna - to one of his devotees.  He answered my prayers.  It proved the fact, He never make his devotees sad.  For me,  he had opened another door for me - the door that seemed to have closed a day before.

I was so excited.  I got ready for my meeting with Ajit.  I fixed up a suitable time for my meeting with Ajit, the same day.  On my request, Javed came to take me to Etisalcom.   Enroute, Javed enquired about my job and I told him the truth that I am jobless!!  From his body language, I understood that he was not expecting such a truth!! 

When I got down from his car and collected the left out coins to pay his taxi fare, he affectionately stopped me by holding my my hands and asked  - "Arey, Bhai, maine paisa poochcha hai kya?? Aap mera bhai hey na?   Apna bhai se kaise paisa le sakthe hain?"  (Brother, did I ask you for the money?  You are my brother, isnt it?  How will I take money from a brother?")

I realized the great message of brotherhood in Javed.  Being an Indian or a Pakistani, we were not demarcated by any boundary or nationality.  In front of his humanity, I was speechless. Tears rolled down from my eyes on experiencing his warmth and gesture.  Thank you, Javed Bhai!   You will always be remembered. 

In Etisalcom, Ajit talked to me very informally and I felt much relieved and relaxed. He was not having any paper in his hand other than my CV which was sent by Santosh.   That made me more relaxed and I had an open discussion. I told him my dire need for a job, an immediate job.

From the day one, we both enjoyed a good chemistry. We understood each other in a span of thirty minutes.   He cleared my CV to the next level - for my next interview with Mr. Nezar Jamsheer, CCO and Mr. Rashid Al-Snan, CEO.

The gene of impatience and anxiety within me kept on pressing hard to call Ajit for a status.  In spite of that, my subsequent interview with Etisalcom got delayed indefinitely because the CEO was travelling.   I was running short of time as I had to take a decision before end August.  I did not want to jeopardize Govind's classes because of my reasons.

Days passed by without any concrete update from Etisalcom.   I  became depressed and upset.  As a no-go mood, I decided to rollback and start packing my bags for good.

I learnt that I had only ME, MY FAMILY and GOD when I was in trouble.  No friends, no relatives, no associates, no colleagues.  Unfortunately, I learnt that message, the hardest way. 

Honestly, I was avoiding my house owner as I did not have the face (being a rent defaulter)  to see him.  In fact that was not my type,as I had never defaulted my rent when I was in my previous job assignment.  Moosa, the landlord was a decent, practical Bahraini, who was not greedy and hence never tortured his tenants!  Moosa must have understood that I was in some kind of a problem.  Because, we both never turned up each other to discuss anything about the pending rent.

Having decided to leave for good, I called him to my apartment.  I make him sit at the hall room and told him, "Moosa, I am in a problem.  I am not having job as I lost it last month.  I am trying to get one but not yet.    I am thinking of going back.  I will not be able to pay the rent of two months.  Can you please take the items I have - TV, Washing Machine, Dining Table, AC etc. as you can give this house to someone fully furnished?"

I hated me while speaking to Moosa.
Moosa looked around.   Me too. 

All the items that I bought in the house were having some sentimental values as they were bought after a series of discussions between me and Bindu.  Due to the pathetic condition of mine,  they were about to be lost forever - without any returns.   I wanted to cry. 

Moosa told - "Brother, job will come and go.  Insha Allah! you will get a good job.  You give me rent when you get your job.  Dont worry about this.  I will not ask you..."

Moosa, for me, at that point in time, was another incarnation of God.  He pacified and offered me a temporary solution to my worries.  I got a vacation and there was no need to worry about the rent.    That was a BIG help. 

August 20. 
I counted - only eleven more days left for me to go back, if at all.

Bindu was more worried than me - as she was concerned about my health and food.  Thankfully, watermelons made me survive - quenching my thirst and killing my hunger at the same time.

There was no news from Ajit or Etisalcom.    Through Manoj's contact I went for another interview, but there also a decision was not arrived at.  

Thanks to my continous prayers, the second interview in Etisalcom was arranged.   The interview call made me nervous for sure, as that was my last chance for a survival in Bahrain.  I was not sure whether I would get a job in a week's time.   

With the strength of my prayers, I stepped in to Etisalcom for the second, crucial, critical interview. 

Was I shivering? Perhaps.  But, Ajit had briefed me prior to the interview and cooled me down.  My discussion with Mr. Nezar and Mr. Rashid went on for more than an hour on a fifty-fifty probability.  Ajit promised to come back soon when I insisted about my self-made deadline of August 31st.

August 27.
I was desperately trying to reach Ajit.  I did not want to keep my expectations if I was not selected in the interview.  But, his phone was switched off.  I tried to reach him many times but did not get a response.

For the last time, I spoke to my Lord with my routine questions.   That time too, I was sad and angry.  I reminded HIM about Govind's school reopening on September 6th and also that he would be loosing one academic year, if my job was not stabilized.  Moreover, Bindu and Govind would not be able to come back on time as all flights to the Gulf were reportedly booked due to end-of-vacation.   In a minute, I asked to myself - "Who am I to remind HIM.  Everything is happening on HIS wish.... Forgive me, Lord!"

I smiled at HIM and HE too.

Yes, he was smiling. 
You know, why?  Because, within two hours, I got a SMS from Ajit.

I will never forget the SMS and it is still stored in my previous SIM. 

It read -

"CONGRATULATIONS.  YOUR APPOINTMENT IS APPROVED.  PLEASE COLLECT THE OFFER LETTER TOMORROW.  WILL DISCUSS ABOUT OTHER FORMALITES WHEN YOU MEET ME".

That invaluable SMS and Ajit turned over my life.   Thank you, Ajit.  

After a month of suffering, uncertainity and turbulence, HIS blessings facilitated me to join Etisalcom on September 3rd, 2007.    Against the anticipation, Bindu and Govind could fly back on Sept. 5th and Govind could continue his studies WITHOUT EVEN A DAY'S BREAK,  from September 6th.

GOD IS GREAT! YOUR SINCERE PRAYERS WILL ALWAYS BE HEARD BY HIM, THE ALMIGHTY.

I have a very valid, personal testimonial. I do not want anything else to convince myself or others!!

As on date, I am serving Etisalcom and vice versa.

We are living happily thereafter.

Thank you, Lord!

Ramadan Kareem to all my Muslim readers.

May God bless you all.

Renjith P Sarada
(C) 2010.  Renjith P Sarada.  All Rights Reserved